


Nothing left

by Inkdreamer



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Child Loss, Family Loss, Grief/Mourning, Loss of Faith, Loss of Parent(s), Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:28:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22510237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkdreamer/pseuds/Inkdreamer
Summary: "It's not death that kills. It is the reaction of their loved ones."
Kudos: 6





	Nothing left

Dís, daughter of Thrain, son of Thror arrived at Erebor only to learn that none of her family had survived. They were all dead, buried beneath rock and stone. Side by side, but they didn't know that. They didn't even know the war was won. Won. How could this loss be called a victory?

She stayed by their side for hours, for how long, she didn't know. She brushed strands of hair away from their sleeping faces, gold, brown and black. 

Had her brother still been alive she would have screamed at him. But he wasn't. He was there, with her sons, as dead as them. 

The time would come when she would scream. Sooner or later she would want to beat everyone down who wanted to offer her comfort, because none of them would truly understand. Even if they did, what would it matter? It would not ease her grief. 

All the others were celebrating. How could they. 

She heard the approaching steps, but she didn't turn around. Whoever it was they should leave her alone. 

After days of being down there the guards came to see if she was "alright". She didn't even feel like she was still alive anymore. 

Balin was with them. The old dwarf took her hand in his. If anyone could come close to being a help it was him. That was why she didn't push him away. That, and that she simply didn't care. 

"You have to eat, lass."

She shook her head. "You know I won't."

His pained expression was pitiful, but she didn't have the energy to feel sorry. "I know your loss. We all are mourning, but it won't do any good if we loose you too. Don't do that to us."

"Why not?" There was no emotion in her voice. "The lot of you didn't listen to me either when I said you shouldn't go. You made me loose them, why not return the favor."

Balin looked like she had stabbed him with a knife. "Lass. Dís."  
As if calling her by her name would change anything.   
"Don't be like that."

She snorted. "Seriously, Balin. I have enough to process myself, I can't care about what others go through because of me at the moment. I'm sorry."

She turned away. Her gaze found the face of her younger son. She walked over to him and took his hand. The leather of his glove was cold. He still held the runestone in his hand. 

"You should-"

"Whatever it is, no. I will go back to the blue mountains and I will stay there. That's all I'm going to do."

She heard him take a step closer. "You will not stay?"

"No."

"But why?"

"Can you not think of that?"

"I understand you don't always want to be reminded. But we reclaimed the mountain! We have our home back, we can't just leave it again now. Their sacrifice can't have been for nothing!"

Dís shook her head. "I will not live in a place my whole family died for. I barely even remember it, I was still a child back then. Erebor was never my home, it was Thorins. I belong to the Ered Luin. It was the only place I was ever blessed with happiness. And if I can't spend the rest of my days with my family, I wish to at least spend them in peace."

She finally looked at Balin. He was nodding. "If you put it that way, I understand." He sighed. "I wish the same." With that he left her.

Dís stared into the distance. She could see her sons playing in the long grass of the fields as children. Fili had always looked like his father. Her dear husband. And Kili had inherited her brother's recklessness. Frerin. She refused to believe that the only thing Thorin had inherited from their father and grandfather was the gold sickness. 

She looked at their faces. And saw all she had lost. Everytime she had dared to hope the Valar had taken another one dear to her. Everytime she had started to believe that hope was worth it again, the unfair truth had shown itself. How could this be worth it? Now she had lost the last that that ever made her hold on to hope. Both of her sons. No parent should have to burry their children. 

She was strong. She had always been, and she would be strong now. But there was only so much even the strongest dwarf could take.

**Author's Note:**

> I was in the mood for writing something depressing. Sorry. Feel free to leave a comment or kudos, my lovely readers!


End file.
